Jokes & Quotes
Below you will find a selection of wedding anniversary jokes and lighthearted quotes you can use to add a touch of humor to your unforgettable anniversary party or celebration. Please keep in mind that all jokes should be told in good taste and that not all jokes are appropriate for all couples. Please choose wisely and don't be afraid to reverse the couple's roles in these jokes to suit your needs!
See our collection of
Classic 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes
The Old Man & The Wizard
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Tom and Susan's 25th Wedding Anniversary
At the banquet of Tom and Susan’s 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”
Tom responded, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance,meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”
An Early Lesson in Marriage
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady.
"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband promptly removed a revolver from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"
One Line Wedding Anniversary Jokes
-A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
-It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Lighthearted Anniversary Quotes
"Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one."
"Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single."
"The Japanese have a word for it. It’s Judo – the art of conquering by yielding. The Western equivalent of Judo is, “Yes dear”".
"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married... and she didn't have to hear about how well his mother cooked."
See our complete listing of
Wedding Anniversary Quotes
More Wedding Anniversary Jokes
We hope that you found a good wedding anniversary joke or quote you can use to make your anniversary celebration unforgettable!
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